ABTI | Joseph Riggio International

The State of the Practice: ABTI | Joseph Riggio International

Entering A New Decade – 2020 Update

Howdy …

 

Here’s a little sandwich I’m building for those of you who have some interest in working with me professionally at some point, as well as those who have worked with me in the past or are working with me now.

NOTE: This meal is for anyone who’s been paying attention, and wants to kick ass, take names and get on with having YOUR life … 

First the bottom slice of bread, that the rest of our meal together today will be built up from …
(we’ll add condiments later on):

Okay let’s start with some self revelation … it’s my 6th decade here on Planet Earth, or Gaia as some folks prefer to think of her (yes, I think she’s a she because she is fertile and fecund).

That little tidbit ain’t so meaningful by itself, but very few little tidbits are meaningful outside of context, so let’s add some context.

This is all about where I’ve been (very little actually about that) and where I’m aiming (almost everything else here is about that) as a professional expert advisor, mentor, coach, consultant and trainer.

So now little juicy tidbits won’t be here about my personal life behind closed doors (sorry if you might have wanted or even expected that from me … maybe another time, with photos).

Of course all this is only meaningful to the extent that you care, and more to the point — in the way it may impact or effect you personally.

So I’m aiming this update at those folks who have worked with me before and who’s life/business I’ve impacted, those who are working with me now and are hoping for a positive impact and effect in the work we’re doing together, and also to those who may consider working with me in the future as well.

Now that we’ve covered the preamble and framing stuff let’s go to the meat of cheese of it all …

It’s significant that after living on her ample bosom I can happily report that Mother Earth has treated my particularly well, and I am both well satisfied and well positioned to continue with sojourn here for a while longer (Trans.- basically I’m in great health, good spirits and prepared to leap forward from the base of learning and experience I’ve accumulated in the past six decades).

For about three of my six decades I’ve been working at learning and applying stuff about the human condition to various and sundry aspects of creating an extraordinary life. Some folks say I’ve gotten pretty good at it too.

Here’s a short list of some of the sundry things I’ve put my attention on over the years:

  • Teaching NLP and communication skills
  • Learning and using Roye Fraser’s ‘Generative Imprint’ model working with folks and help them discover, access and sustain what it’s like for them to be at their best, and operate from there consistently
  • Working with individual clients and some small groups to provide personal interventions around issues like health and wellbeing, personal and professional relationships, career and business issues … doing what now today might be called coaching, but I still prefer the term I learned with Roye, “doing a piece of work”
  • Architecting and designing the MythoSelf Process model, originally called the Mythogenic Self Process, as an aesthetic model of embodied ontology using somasemantic interventions
  • Developing ways to integrate the NLP model and Roye’s model together building customized sales and leadership development training solutions for business/professional clients
  • Designing positively organized strategic solutions for my business/professional clients and assisting them to integrate and implement them
  • Training, certifying and licensing folks, who were interested and committed, to facilitate and train the MythoSelf Process, the model of work I’ve been at since 1990
  • Developing and delivering online training programs built around the MythoSelf Process model, and integrating that with other things, like business development and communication skills.
  • Training and mentoring coaches and consultants in building their business and deepening their skills
  • Working with high achieving individual clients on personal as well as professional issues like their relationships, business transitions, legacy …

So you can see I’ve been busy … and growing.

But, as I’ve noticed is so often the case, as people get older the circle closes, and they return to their roots. So it is for me.

My love is the MythoSelf Process work, and helping people to develop the fundamental life perspective it fosters … what is best called having a “possibility mindset” … seeing the world through a lens of opportunistic thinking and linking that to taking action.

Now this is a remarkably simplistic way of referring to what I do with people, but it gives us a place to begin and orient from as I go a little deeper.

What’s required to access and sustain a possibility mindset is a new perspective about life, and that perspective is that it’s always working, even when it may seem from a particular place and stance that it is not.

A simple example of having a possibility mindset is the idea that all endings are also new beginnings.

It’s also about recognizing the possibilities or opportunities that abound in the present moment.

So, in part it’s also about developing a specific kind of intuition to notice for what is present but unseen, including the emergent future possibilities — something I refer to as adumbration, or the art of foreseeing the immediate future that’s unfolding in this moment.

I can go on, but the work is complex, deep and profound in so many ways, all of which enhance and create a robust richness in living one’s life, both on own’s own and with others (now you can see why I so love doing this work).

What this means is that I’ll be rolling up a lot of what I’ve done and have been doing, some of it that I’ll only be doing in the future with partners I have built significant relationships with who are peers and colleagues in delivering what I think of as some of the best training, consulting and coaching programs on the planet, but other than that it will disappear from my personal portfolio of work.

The work that will happen only in conjunction with my partners will be everything I’ve done before (as well as stuff I haven’t) that doesn’t specifically fit into what’s below.

I guess the question then becomes — what will I be focused on moving forward …

Simple …

  • One to one, and small group work, with high achieving individuals (and those who are truly aspiring to be high achieving themselves) … i.e.: doing a piece of work

    This is all about personal and professional interventions to develop the kind of intuitions that make living one’s life on one’s own terms effortless, Getting Unstuck, Breaking Through and Creating Results to put it another way — this is all about resolving the ways in which you get in your own way, and freeing yourself to see the world in ways you haven’t before or yet, to open you to the vast range of possibilities to have your life work as you wish and desire … on your own and with others, personally and professionally

  • A major shift to delivering Relationship Coaching and Training as a central theme of what’s coming — for folks who’ve been there and done that, and who are ready to build a relationship that fulfills them completely — what’s intended to be the “Last Chapter” … where you get to live “happily ever after …”

    I’ve been around long enough to know that we are embedded in our relationships, especially those that involve those we love — this work is about resolving what gets in the way of having the kind of relationship that happens in RomComs, Hallmark channel programming and romance novels (especially those with the steamy bedroom and beach scenes) — I’ve been aiming at this work actually for years, and I’ve done a lot of it, and now it will become a major focus on where I’m placing my time and attention on live programs going forward … if you’re on board, get ready for the ride of your life, because that’s the only one you’ll know after you’ve experienced what’s in store for you here

  • Running and delivering MythoSelf Process Training and Certification Programs internationally

    I’ll be running a limited number of MythoSelf Process programs for individuals internationally throughout the upcoming year with folks certified by me to deliver them, and turning over this part of the MythoSelf Process training to them more and more over the next two years (so if you’ve ever wanted to attend a MSE | MythoSelf Experience with me do it this year) … this is at the heart of the work I love, and part of what this means is that I’ll be focused on running and delivering certification programs, and for those who are interested and skilled offering licensing to run MythoSelf training themselves.

  • Working with Coaches, Consultants and Expert Advisors as a mentor and advisor to them

    I’ve been around a long time now and I have something to share with those folks who are interested in what I’ve gathered about this work — this is highly specialized work … and I intend for it to be very intensive and intimate work as well … for a very target group of folks, but where it’s a fit there’s a lot we’ll be doing together — business building, skills development, client insights …

And, that’s all folks!

Now you have the meat and the cheese (the work I’ll be doing with others, as well as a ton of what I intend to give away for free … a new podcast (or two), live video feeds, my ongoing writing (in some new places too) … we can call the condiments, okay?).

If you want the short summary … it’s all gonna be MythoSelf … MythoSelf all the way through and through (the exception being some of the work I do with my partners) … no matter how it’s dressed up, and all the other stuff falling away like a snake shedding it’s skin and revealing itself anew.

So to place the other slice of bread …

(the one that closes a proper sandwich, so you can pick it up and eat it with your hands, not that finicky, prissy shit of using a fork and knife, cutting away little bits to place in your dainty little mouth … my stuff is intended to take big old bites out of … this is stuff that will nourish your soul, as well as improve your life):

Look for some major changes in what I’m putting out in 2020 and beyond, as well as where you’ll find it … and some of the changes will be significant too.

I’m going to hand off or shut down a number of my FB groups, to focus much more on consolidating what I’m saying and to whom.

I’ll have some new places and ways of sharing what I’ve consolidated as parts of a singular message (can you guess what that is … ding, ding, ding right on! … all MythoSelf Process based stuff … stories, applications, examples … all of it).

I’ll be sending out a few emails shortly to invite anyone who’s interested to a few new things I’m setting up, so keep your eyes peeled (and if you’re currently in a program with me, watch especially carefully as we update everything there too … especially for you folks).

Thanks for listening 😉

Joseph Riggio, Ph.D.

Architect and Designer of the MythoSelf Process and SomaSemantics
December 29, 2019 (the end of an era)

PS – If you’re excited by any of this and want to discuss what’s coming up and how you might work with me, join a program or find out more before we come out with our major release of the new era information you can schedule a call with me here: Talk with Joseph

 

Ontological Integrity

The restoration of ontological integrity. 

“The conflict about who I was, what I know to be true innately and intimately, and what I was taught to believe is the truth about the world, fractured my sense of self … i.e.: my ontological integrity. Instead of remaining secure both in who I was and how to aim myself into my future, I had conflict.”

 

Today I would argue that the ontological crack is really a separation between accepting direct sensory experience, and how someone has been taught (by choice or coercion). In the process of being taught they learned to think about what they experience other than as they themselves experience it directly.

We are taught to turn sensation into ideation … lived experience into abstractions and the representations we substitute for it.

We learn to “process” our experiences to project meaning onto them, not to have our experiences directly and perceive meaning based on what we experience as it emerges and unfolds before us.

In not knowing how to have the experience of our life in favor of “processing” our experience, we do not just lose touch with the direct sensation of what is happening as we experience it … we lose ourselves as well.

Mistaking ontological longing for existential longing, i.e.: mixing up your desire to know yourself as you are, with the desire to find meaning and purpose in your life, especially in your work, is common when your ontological integrity has been compromised.

Doing what you are doing and accepting it for what it is, and no more than that … i.e.: farming makes you a farmer because you are farming, not because G-d destined you to have a farmer’s soul … provides existential peace.

Today we are taught in every way that we must find our purpose to experience existential relief, substituting what we do for who we are, as the basis of our being. Depending on how you look at it this is either insanity … or what must be a leading cause of it.

A way of talking about being at and operating from your center is, “Bringing the system to rest.” Being “at rest” refers to the entirety of your experience in the world … internally, your body-mind experience, and in relation to the system that you are a part of that simultaneously contains you externally. When you are “at rest,” you are settled and at ease, without conflict, internally and externally … simply resting in a “Ready State.”

In the Ready State you can easily take action … or not … there is no hesitation or urgency to act, both are equal and remain fully available based on circumstance and choice.

The beginning point is somatic integration, becoming aware of what you are experiencing as you are experiencing it, i.e.: awareness that is sensory-based and embodied. This sounds remarkably obvious and simple, and it is once you have learned how to do it. Yet without access to the Ready State being aware of what you are experiencing, as it happens, is somewhere between unlikely and impossible.

At first I bought the theory that experiencing extreme stress as you make “progress” in your life is normal, and I thought I was sane, or at least as sane as anyone else I knew. Then I began waking up and realized I was truly living an insane life within an insane social model. When I sought relief, I found that all the ordinary physical and/or psychological medical references controlled by the insane society I was living in had to offer me were ways to modulate and cope with the “symptoms” of stress I was experiencing.

Like this, I was lost and had no easy or clear way back to sanity on my own. I was caught in the web, but I knew enough to recognize that struggling against it would only ensnare me further. While I did not have a path to freedom yet, I decided that I had to begin to make my moves within the structure of the system without attracting to much undue attention from it. From where I stood it appeared to me that “the only way out was through” … so I dove in, going deeper, becoming fully present to the insanity I was living.

 

(Excerpts taken from: “Experiencing The Hero’s Journey”   by Joseph Riggio, edited 13 April 2019)

Mythogenic Mastery

mythogenesis

noun

 

 

mytho·​genesis |  ˌmithə+ variants: or less commonly mythogeny  mə̇ˈthäjənē  plural mythogeneses also mythogenies

Definition of mythogenesis

1: formation or production of myths

2: the tendency to make myths or to give mythical status to something (as a tradition or belief)

[From: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/mythogenesis]

 

It’s interesting that when you Google “mythogenesis” Google asks you, “Did you mean pathogenic?” — potentially leading you away to a definition of something that means ‘causing disease’.

It’s also interesting to me that more people probably know what pathogenic means than mythogenic.

However, I’d like to take us beyond definitions and into experience for a few moments … to explore “myth making” as a way of approaching self awareness, self understanding and self mastery.

For years I’ve been on about mastery versus transformation. Many programs of the kind that I myself lead promise transformation. They suggest you need to be different than you are today, so that you can get/have what you don’t today. Yet, this seems to me self defeating, because whatever you think you may want that you don’t currently think you have is predicated on who you are today, and not who you will become when you have whatever it is you’re seeking. Therefore you may find that when you arrive … have whatever it is that you’re seeking … you feel no more satisfied than you were before you had it, because getting it changes you.

Years ago, around the early 1990s I had done some research and realized that people really want the feeling of satisfaction, and they want it to linger and not just as a transient experience.

So I designed a model I called the Satisfaction Cycle®.

This model was predicated on the idea that who you are in this moment right now hold all the keys to your potential through all time, and furthermore that you have immediate access to realizing that full potential instantaneously.

The only requirement …

You must remove that which limits you from experiencing yourself fully as whole and complete … right now.

Yet, most people have been trained to see themselves as only having the potential to be whole and complete in the future. This creates the endless desire for self-improvement, that some folks like to call self-growth or personal development.

Now I’m not against personal development as an idea. In fact I like the idea of improving, but I think of it as refinement, not necessity. To my way of thinking you express the fullness of being you are now seeking to experience by attending to the fullness of being that you already posses, and then you can’t help but to experience personal development.

You see, just attending to something fully and with rigorous focus refines it. I should probably make it clear here that when I use the word “attending” I mean “doing something” not “contemplating” … even if you first contemplate you must take action to complete the process of fully attending, putting the contemplation to rest.

Coming To Rest

Everyone ultimately wants to come to rest within themselves.

This doesn’t mean stopping your action or activity, it means being a peace within yourself, giving up the relentless sense of chasing something that you think you need or want, but don’t yet have.

Coming to rest means realizing this moment is complete unto itself, and stepping fully into it to experience it completely. 

The paradox of coming to rest means that you begin have more time and energy available to do things you haven’t yet done, and you do them without any undue urgency or, sense of threat or overwhelm. You begin moving through the world from a position of self-mastery.

Others can’t help but to notice when you possess self-mastery. 

Self-mastery expresses itself as an air of calm and control beyond the chaos of the moment. Regardless of the urgency of the moment, whey you possess self-mastery you aren’t urgent. Think of the surgeon who makes critical life and death decisions in seconds, and retains a calm deliberate certainty in the moment about the choices they make. Or, the naval fighter pilot who’s plane hurdles through space faster than the speed of sound, and calmly and deliberately controls their craft with the certainty required to land it safely on the rolling deck of an aircraft carrier in the middle of an ocean deep in the darkness of night.

I remember a story that I was told from when I was too young to remember. My grandmother, my father’s mother, who I spent a great deal of time with, was watching over me and I spiked a very high fever. My then young unmarried uncle, told me he was very concerned and felt like I needed to be taken to the doctor or the emergency room. My grandmother instead told him not to worry that the fever would break and I’d be fine. She repeatedly bathed me in cool water and then rubbed alcohol on my feverish body, three times … four times … until as she predicted, the fever broke and I “slept like the dead” according to the way my uncle tells it.

When I woke the next morning it was as though I had never had a fever, and as usual ran about leaving a wake of minor destruction in my path. Never though did my grandmother’s composure waver. Whenever she was engaged in a task of any kind she possessed and evidenced an air of self-mastery always as I remember her, even in those moments of lucidity that had become sporadic into her 103 year when she finally passed peacefully one night during her sleep.

When you possess self-mastery in the simplest moments you can extend it to the most chaotic moments. I like to think of this as keeping your head about you when all those around you are losing theirs. However, I find most people only look to access mastery of this kind when they are already in crisis, failing to seek it, practice it, and experience it in the mundane moments of their life when they more easily access it to make it a habit and pattern of being they recognize for themselves.

Stop And Smell The Roses

Mastery and mythogenesis meet where you experience your own autobiographical narratives. 

For the most part the world will impose certain narrative on you … stories about who your people were/are, stories about the place you come from, stories about how you look and how that fits the current fads of appearance and beauty, stories about how you should be and what’s important or not … it goes on and on.

For instance, one of the great narratives shared and told in many places refers to the story of education … either you’re one of the smart kids or you’re not one of them. This of course has less to do with being intelligent than it does with conforming to demands to do it they way you are told. In many measures of intelligence in education creativity becomes a detriment. Yet, the label of being a smart kid, or not, puts an indelible mark on many people before they have any sense of personal choice about it.

Another common narrative has to do with what “side of the tracks” you come from … was your family wealthy or not, are you the right kind of person, do you practice the ‘right’ religion, do you have the ‘right’ skin color, do you speak the ‘right’ language and pronounce it in the ‘right’ way, are your people from the ‘right’ place, do you were the ‘right’ clothes, to you eat the ‘right’ foods, to you practice the ‘right’ traditions … and on it goes, and the narrative builds about whether or not you are the ‘right’ kind of person.

The Hermenutic Option: Despite the impositions of the narratives imposed upon you, you always have a choice about how you interpret them … you get to set the meaning. 

Trying to “fix” the meaning of the narratives that have been imposed upon them, beyond their initial control, keeps a lot of people chasing a dream about who they could be or should be … but in their own minds (and maybe by dint of cultural interpretation too) ain’t.

Many folks are lost in trying to manifest a life that matches some narrative that they don’t own … one that ain’t their own.

You always get to choose your own myth, the story you are living into, and the way that shapes how you interpret the narratives of your life, as long as you want it and make that choice.

Choosing your own myth frees you. Your myth is always bigger than any of the narratives it contains.

You really have no choice as to whether or not you’ll be living into a myth, if you’re very clever you only really get to choose the myth itself.

By the time you were seven or so, a myth was present for you … and you’ve either be A) living into it unthinkingly, B) resisting it desperately, or C) revising it and choosing one for yourself.

The book of your life was begun by others, but you don’t need to remain in that story.

Whenever you choose you get to take over the authorship of your own life, and begin scripting a new life if you so desire it.

The moment you take over the myth-makers role in your own life you immediately begin reshaping the entirety of the story that’s been told so far. You don’t need to rewrite your past stories …

The very act of deciding who you are now in this moment, and who you are becoming, imposes a new meaning on who you have been. 

This simple act of taking control of your own story, shaping the narrative that’s being told, transports you into the beginning of possessing self-mastery.

Keeping it simple, you cannot possess self-mastery if you don’t possess your own story.

In many old fairy tales the hero’s/heroine’s heart is removed and keep in a box by some evil witch or sorcerer and to become whole, often even to live and prevent their own untimely death, the hero/heroine must discover where their heart is hidden and reclaim it for themselves.

The heart at the center of your being that you are seeking is your myth.

Once you’ve discovered your myth, the essential story of who you are, have always been and are becoming, everything about you will begin to coalesce and reform to accept this as the centering and guiding essence of your being. You’ll feel this happening within yourself, and you’ll see the manifestation of it without as well all around you. As you continue others will also begin to notice it and will respond to it in spoken and unspoken ways.

You will be known for your acts, but you will know yourself more because of the myth you are making, and the master you’ve become.

It is of little value to master all about you, if you have left the mastery of yourself behind. 

Just some thoughts to ponder as a new dawn approaches …

Joseph Riggio, Ph.D.

Somewhere on the East Coast of the United States at 05:32 AM EDT

The Really Big Ones …

Important Decisions …

You only make a few really important decisions in your whole life, the ones that are life changing.

Most people think they make important decisions every year, or month, or week … or even every day. Some really self obsessed folks think they make really important decisions every hour!

The reality is that most decisions have a very limited half-life, i.e.: the amount of time that decision lingers until you can make another decision that changes whatever happened as a result of the previous decision.

The simple reality is that virtually all decisions have a half-life of some kind, meaning they can be changed or even completely reversed as though they never happened at all.

Even getting a tattoo isn’t a permanent decision, but for now removing a finger would be, although even that decision leaves you with prosthetic options.

So when you think about it the only really big decisions, the important ones, are the ones that ripple out in space and time, affecting you in ways that are hard to comprehend completely when you make them. 

These decisions almost always have an affect beyond you and where you are standing in the moment. These kinds of decisions affect others, and usually your relationships with them. They may even affect dozens, hundreds, thousands, millions or billions of people, depending on who you are and the position you occupy when you’re making them.

But for most of us, the really big decisions, the most important ones linger most of all in our own lives, and we need to have a way to understand what they will mean to use before we commit to them.

I know a bit about making these kinds of decisions, because I have lived in the unique space of not only making my own … some remarkably successful ones and others that still linger in my life in ways that force me to relive them with some degree of regret, but I digress … I have also been privy to the decision making of clients whom I’ve stood beside when they were making some of the really big, important decisions in their lives.

Very few folks have the privilege of standing alongside someone as they make a truly critical, crucial decision in their life, and have that person turn to them and ask for advice or an opinion, one that is likely to have some weight in the decision that’s about to be made … possibly one that will change the course of a life. Yet, I have stood there, next to someone more than once, who was about to make what felt to them a life and death decision, and in a few cases was just that. And, in a few cases sometimes making that decision for more than just themselves.

I don’t think there is any more sobering experience I’ve had than those times someone has turned to me in a critical moment about making a crucial decision in their life, one that would change the course of their life and possibly the lives of many others, and asked for my advice or opinion knowing that they’d consider almost as valuable as their own personal counsel.

What You Must Know Before Making A Really Big, Important Decision:

What I’ve learned from standing in that unique space next to someone is that all decisions have consequences that extend beyond the moment you are making them in the here and now.

When you are making really big, important decisions you need to know they will have lingering consequences, and you cannot know all of them when you are making the decision.

This means you will have to learn to accept the risk of making really big, important decisions and the consequences they bring, even the unknown and unexpected consequences of the decision, or be at the mercy of having those decisions made for you by default.

The really big, important decisions don’t go away, they don’t fade and become meaningless in your life. Even when you refuse to make a big and important decision it will linger, and it will grown the stench of a rotting corpse, becoming more foul and difficult to deal with as you wait.

The most successful and fulfilled people I know share three common traits:

  1. First a kind of paradoxical one … they make all the decisions they can immediately and don’t make any decision that they aren’t ready to make until the waiting for that decision is full
  2. They include the counsel of another or others in their most important decision-making, and
  3. They own whatever decisions they make completely, especially when they don’t turn out well 

All three of these are present at all times for the really big, important decisions that the most successful and fulfilled people I know make for themselves and others, because often these folks are making decisions that deeply impact the lives of others as well as their own.

What’s most curious to me though is how most less successful and fulfilled people do exactly the opposite …

  1. They rush into decisions that could have waited and that they are in no position to make, while waiting on the decisions that need to be made and that they can make in the moment …
  2. They often or even always make their biggest and most important decisions based solely on their own counsel, neither thinking nor knowing how to engage another in helping them work through them, or not having someone in their life they can and do trust to stand in that space with and for them …. and
  3. They refuse to own the decisions they make or the consequences that come with them, always looking to blame someone else for what happened and what went wrong after the fact, it’s never their fault in their own minds, so they never get to learn from their mistakes and are doomed to making the same ones over and over again.

Now you might be reading these lists and wondering why they are so different … opposite from one another in fact.

My experience suggest that the most successful and fulfilled folks accept that life is uncertain and full of risk. They know that some risks can be avoided or mediated, and others are meaningless despite being present. These folks also know that those risks that cannot be avoided, mediated and are of great importance must be faced despite the fear they feel, and the do just that … they face what must be done directly and then they act, but only when they can and must, with the advice of trusted counsel, and the accept whatever will happen as a result of their own making.

The less successful and fulfilled people act from fear to relieve themselves of it, never really having learned to stand in it and accept that some things must be faced and cannot be avoided or mediated. They let their fear force them to make decisions they are incapable of making from how they are and where they stand in the moment, they insist on making them on their own or despite counsel otherwise from others, and in no way do they accept the full weight and responsibility of making their own decisions, because they feel forced into them by their fear and look to find a scapegoat they can blame for whatever tragic outcomes may come as a result of their own faulty approach.

I’ve seen dozens of examples of both … extremely successful and fulfilled folks who make truly high-quality decisions, and much less successful or fulfilled people who cannot seem to get out of their own way to make even moderately big or important decisions well.

 

What Are The Really Big and Important Decisions You’re Likely To Make?

Okay, I’m not going to give you a list, instead I’m going to give you principles you can use to make your own list.

The first principle is this:

  • Any decision you make that has lingering consequences through space and time that cannot be reversed immediately after you make it and take action on it is a big and really important decision.

Decisions of this kind include many critical health choices that you may find yourself forced to make in a moment of crisis, including who you choose to assist you and what options you take to address the crisis, whether your own or for another. Any decision that would alter the course of your life, or the life of another irrevocably is a big, important decision such as the decision to have a child, to give up a child or, to foster or adopt a child. From the first moment after you make these decisions and act upon them they immediately build momentum and compound to become big and important decisions in your life and that of others. There are also decisions to not do something that is time critical that are big and important decisions, like taking action to prevent harm to yourself or another, from something as simple as putting on a seat belt, or deciding not to drive in a severe storm if you don’t absolutely have to for something even more critical than avoiding a situation you don’t need to be in that puts you and others at risk. Make all these decisions with great care, and with the advice and input of counsel whenever you can.

These kinds of decisions also include any decision you make to harm yourself or another with grave consequence, for example anything that would cause the loss of a limb, an organ or a life. This could be from intentional self inflicted trauma, or unintentionally inflicted trauma like driving while drunk and permanently injuring yourself or another. These decisions also include setting down any path that leads to an escalation of events that cause this kind of trauma, from something as simple as not getting enough exercise or eating poorly, to taking drugs that lead to a crippling addiction, or engaging in activities with others that result in inevitable and devastating consequences like gambling beyond your means and building inescapable debt with people that must be paid, or following urges like sexual desire to places that can only end in grief for yourself and those you indulge yourself with as well. Avoid decisions of this kind at all costs if you are able.

The second principle is:

  • Any decision that requires you to make extraordinary effort to remove yourself from, change the outcome or direction of where it’s going, or how it will affect others after you make it is a big and important decision too.

Okay so we’re probably not talking about life and death here, so we a little removed from that intensity of risk and the decision making associated with it. However, these decisions do have lingering consequences and need to be made with utmost care whenever possible. An example of this kind of decision is entering into any kind of committed contract … from marriage to a professional engagement where you’ve pledged something from your time to a specific outcome you must produce or suffer the consequences if you fail to do what you’ve committed to and promised. It might also be a decision not to do something that would set you up for failure that you can avoid by saying no now. As with any big and important decision you’ll make, these kinds of decisions often require more than just simple counsel, but often professional counsel from experts like an attorney or accountant who can see the long term ramifications of your decision in way you could not on your own.

It might also be a professional decision regarding a business you own or run where you really do need the counsel of others with greater expertise and more qualified than you to make the proper decision. And, minimally you’ll want to have a trusted adviser, a personal “consigliere” of sorts in your corner for these kinds of decisions. This person can assist you in thinking through your decision, and while whatever decision you make will be your own, and as such you must own it completely, your consigliere can not only help you consider it in ways you might not on your own or from a view you that you wouldn’t take on your own, they may also be useful or even instrumental in carrying it out, or presenting it on your behalf as you spokesperson. This last bit is a masterful ‘trick’ of many elite performers creating a means of later modifying what has been said with a grace not otherwise possible.

The third and final principle for now is this one:

  • Almost all truly big and important decisions involve other people, usually people who hold a significant place in your life.

When it comes down to it the really big and most important things in your life will be about the people you care for, care about and love.

This is a key distinction about big and important decisions, it’s almost always about the people in your life.

Who you marry, the way you raise your children, the friends you make and keep company with, who you hire or work for, or work with … all these kinds of decisions involve other people. They can be and often are big, important decisions.

The think to know and remember about these decisions are that you are building a bank or good will or ill will, and you will do both in your lifetime. There is no pleasing everyone, and any attempt to do so will cause more harm than good, so get over trying. You want to know yourself and trust yourself to know when to say ‘yes’ and when to say ‘no’ to others regardless of how they will feel in the moment.

The ability to know when to say ‘yes’ and when to say ‘no’ to another person is a critical life skill you must develop if you want to live a successful and fulfilled life.

Saying ‘no’ as soon as possible is the surest way to minimize bad feelings and any ill will you will create with others. In fact becoming know as someone who says ‘no’ often and quickly gives you a tremendous freedom to do so, and makes those times when you say ‘yes’ far more meaningful.

Saying ‘yes’ is a commitment of yourself to another, and if you want to live a successful and fulfilled life you must practice living your commitments, the promises you make to others. No one hears the promise made to them by another as a casual comment, they will always take your promises seriously, until you prove to them that they cannot … then they will never take your promises seriously again. So better to say ‘no’ now, than to promise something you find later you cannot or will not follow through with and deliver.

As with all other big and important decisions the decisions in your life involving other people are often, if not always, made better by the trusted counsel of another. We are too charged around others to see them fully for who and what they are, and there is no guarantee that in this case two heads will truly be any better than one, but it does raise your odds of getting it right and your chance to make the best decision more likely.

This is especially true when the decisions involving someone is for you highly emotionally charged … either positively or negatively, love and hate are not often the best ground for making the best decisions. Yet, regardless of the counsel of others you must especially be willing to own your decisions made on the ground of love or hate.

Tread this ground with the utmost respect and humility, for here you will look back and see the biggest and most important decisions of your life.

The bank you make in the space of your relationships with others is the one you will draw from more and more as your own life force and will dwindles. You will find that you want to sit quietly with a trusted friend you’ve invested much with rather than move on to the next thing to do, the next great accomplishment in your life, when this time comes for you. Yet, will find yourself drinking alone, staring at an empty chair if you are not making these investments into the bank of life and relationships now. In these times of your life family and friends will be seen as your greatest treasure, so fill the treasure chest now with what’s most meaningful and not the trinkets many believe to be the stuff of great fortune.

As always I am humbled to have walked in this space with others who have and do trust me as one of their trusted advisers whom they look to for counsel when life shows up with these really big and important decisions, and for a few I have had the honor of standing alongside them as their personal consigliere when life showed up most critically, this is an almost unimaginable responsibility and privilege. Yet, as I scan the heavens and look to my own future, I see that these seeds I have sown have born the greatest fruit and my treasure chest is full, thank you for allowing me such grace …

Buona Fortuna and Abundanza,

Joseph

This Ain’t No Zen!

If it ain’t Zen, WTF is the MythoSelf Process then???

 

Essentially the MythoSelf Process is the “the ability to freely play and take action” it’s about “being childlike and creative in the way you experience, approach and show up in the world” … but, it ain’t Zen, or any other frackin’ thing either … we’ll come back to all this, but first we need to lay some groundwork.

 

Sometimes folks who come to experience the MythoSelf Process or to learn “how to do it” meaning that they want to become proficient in running the process with others as well as for themselves, assume that the MythoSelf Process is “like” Zen or something.

Here’s the first rule of the MythoSelf Process (NO! The first rule of MythoSelf is NOT: “You do not talk about MythoSelf.”):

The first rule of MythoSelf is: “THIS IS NOT THAT.”

Let’s start there things are themselves, i.e: what they are, no more, no less and not “LIKE” something other than themselves, regardless of what we’re referring or pointing to, things are just themselves … objects, people, places, events, ideas, and yes, the MythoSelf Process is just the MythoSelf Process … it ain’t Zen (or any other bloody thing you can imagine in the distortions of your mind “it’s LIKE” … ‘cause it ain’t!).

Okay, so then what “IS” the MythoSelf Process???

The MythoSelf Process is dynamic, i.e.: it’s a process:

proc·ess

ˈpräˌses,ˈprōˌses

noun

  1. a series of actions or steps taken in order to achieve a particular end.”military operations could jeopardize the peace process”synonyms: procedure, operation, action, activity, exercise, affair, business, job, task, undertaking”investigation is a long process”

The MythoSelf Process “happens” (NOTE: it’s never “DONE” to someone, it “HAPPENS” with someone or a group of people).

The MythoSelf Process reveals what we call the “source code” that a person uses to know themselves to be alive. It uses an “if/then” algorithm, “if THIS, then THAT” … if “this” is present then I am alive.

This is the essence of awakening, becoming aware that you are alive, you are present, this is happening right here, right now … and you are able to remain present to it as it unfolds and is coming into being, moment by moment by moment responding to what “IS” …

”Like THIS …”

We often say, “Like THIS …” as a way of referencing what is present that acknowledges the presence of being alive to the individual experiencing the “this” of their own internal awareness.

Unlike many other approaches to “awakening” the MythoSelf Process bases the way to awakening in the experience of the body, the somatic experience, or how you notice yourself being in your body in this moment right here, right now.

Ultimately with training and experience you become able to track this experience almost unconsciously, but fully competently, making adjustments and compensating to be at your best at all times … or at the very least to know when you are not, and give yourself permission to get back to yourself before you make any major commitments or take any major action. (We usually recommend, “WHEN IN DOUBT, DON’T!”)

Signals in the System

The skill I’m referring to above is a subtle awareness to notice for the way you are in your body, or how your body is responding in the moment to what we call “The Signals in the System” or all the stuff that’s happening right here, right now, including all the stuff that’s happening internally for you … your thoughts, how you feel, where you are tense or relaxed, what urges you’re feeling, all those internal signals are part of the totality of what we call the signals in the system.

What you need to get for now is that the signals in the system we’re mostly concerned with are the ones that mostly go unnoticed, e.g.: what’s not being said, or the breeze that’s blowing as you’re thinking about how to invest the inheritance you just found out about from your great uncle George, or whatever. Signals in the system points to that stuff in the background, that’s there not just imagined or projected magically, but so often is left out of the calculation of what’s going on and how that’s affecting you and how you’re responding to what’s happening.

Okay, that might sound like a lot to keep track of, we know. Here are a couple of things that might help you relax about all the possible signals in the system that you could be noticing for:

  1. You don’t need to do anything about the signals in the system, just let them be for now
  2. You don’t need to even pay any particular attention to the signals in the system, as long as you know they are there even when you are not paying attention to them

What you do want to do about the signals in the system is pay attention to the ones you do notice!

If something stands out from the background to you, regardless of what it may be or how insignificant it may seem, just agree with yourself to notice it … trust us, there’s a reason you noticed it, there’s a reason your system responded to it. Now immediately check how you are in yourself, what are you doing in your body?

The easiest way to learn to check what’s going on within yourself, what you’re doing with your body, is to check for where you are holding any kind of tension. For now try to relax that tension and notice what happens as a result. You’re not trying to make a change in terms of what you notice, other than relaxing wherever you find tension in your body. Then, just notice what you notice. If it’s nothing, let it be. If you find you’ve changed the way your thinking, or what you’re thinking about, or how you’re feeling … or, if a sudden seemingly random thought pops up in mind … pay attention to that and consider what it means to you in terms of adjusting how you’ll respond to whatever is going on as a result of noticing what came up for you.

Eventually, with practice and some discipline, you’ll begin to “notice for” the signals in the system automatically, and the “distance” between the incoming signals as well as you internal signals, and your response will be virtually nonexistent, essentially you’ll begin to respond instantly and highly effectively with regard to moving in the direction of the outcomes you intend.

Taking Action … Playfully

So this brings us full circle.

When you are able to be present to what’s happening in the moment … right here, right now … you’ll find you’re able to respond to things in a way the feels like playing, as well as instantly and effectively, regardless of the context or circumstance.

This is the beginning of freedom, i.e: the freedom to take action.

Most people experience times where they are hesitant, or get caught and freeze, or maybe they wish they had responded differently after the fact.

Yet, when we watch children at play, while they may not like the outcome they seldom if ever go back and think, “I wish I had done that differently.” or get stuck in their play unable to act at all. They simply act out of their innate nature.

This is the idea of what we mean by becoming “childlike” … having access to your innate, natural way of taking action freely.

When you “arrive” at the point where you are both able to track the signals in the system in regard to your intended outcomes and you also have the ability to respond creatively, as though you are at play, you are free in a way very few adults will ever experience.

This is essentially what the MythoSelf Process leads to … “the ability to freely play and take action” it’s about “being childlike and creative in the way you experience, approach and show up in the world.” …

So, when someone asks, “Is the MythoSelf Process like Zen.” I get how they can be confused … but, regardless of where there may be similarities, THIS ISN’T THAT.”

If you are interested in learning more about the MythoSelf Process I’ve got a short video I made here: MythoSelf Professional Training

All the best,

Joseph Riggio, Ph.D.

Architect & Designer of the MythoSelf Process and SomaSemantics

P.S.: If you’re also interested in getting trained in the MythoSelf Process yourself you can also get that information here as well: MythoSelf Professional Training

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