Private Work℠ Coaching with Joseph: Is It Coaching Or Something Else Entirely?
I get asked a question a lot that goes something like this …
“Hey, Joseph, I get what you do is all about being and not doing, but is it practical … what can I do with it?”
Now first of all I see the immediate contradiction that asking about doing represents, but I also get this …
“When I first meet them, almost everyone I start working with is addicted to doing … they literally feel off, or out of balance, when they aren’t doing something, they don’t know how to do nothing.”
“Yet, the first step in achieving greatness in anything begins in nothing, doing nothing first.”
Now that’s the first significant distinction. Coaching virtually always begins from, and organizes around, what to be doing … usually how to be doing something you don’t yet do, or doing something differently than you currently do it.
Changing what you do will be really, really important if you want to get something different than what you’re getting now … bigger, better or different results, outcomes that have eluded you from getting them at all, more wealth, improved health, a fantastic relationship, a vast range of human what humans aspire to and desire can be linked to what they do, and what they do not do.
Many of my clients are engaged in building and running businesses, often leading teams of people that they depend on for the results they want and need to create. To realize the outcomes they set for themselves, and their business, they need to do things that produce those results, they are all about making it happen.
BUT despite how obvious it seems, starting with a focus on doing almost guarantees they will continue to get results very similar to or the same as you’re currently getting, possibly with a minimal incremental increase, usually paid for with extraordinary effort in doing even more than you’ve been doing.
Yet, the conundrum of coaching, the way most people experience it and engage in it, resides in the failure to connect how when you are organized in this way, seeing doing as the driver of getting outcomes, it by default organizes perception driven by behavior.
When you consider what to be doing, or what you can do, i.e.: what it would be possible to do, as the starting point, that by definition determines and limits the outcomes you will even consider, and therefore what you will attempt.
“When you are driven by doing, doing sets the limits of your positive expectation, and positive expectation determines what you will achieve and won’t achieve, because it in turn limits and determines what you will and won’t do.”
And, this also sets the limits of coaching based in doing … updating doing, refining doing, improving doing, adding in new doing … it doesn’t matter the focus of the doing, any focus on doing will create these ripples of limitation in the system.
Now, when you want to improve you’re doing, the behaviors you express in relation to producing outcomes, coaching can be a brilliant way to do this … improve what you do and how you do it.
And, yet when you want to expand the boundaries of the possible, coaching may very well entrench you further in the limits of the boundaries you are operating in relation to now.
To quote my mentor, Roye Fraser …
“You have to go to where the problem is NOT.”
This means going to where you experience the world outside of, or beyond, the problem state.
The pragmatic linguist Paul Watzlawick says that there are two conditions for a problem to exist, 1) the way things are, are not the way you want them to be … or, to put it another way, you want things to be different then the way they currently exist, and 2) you have to believe that you need to do something for the situation to change, something that may be beyond your control or ability.
Taken to another level the analytic philosopher, Ludwig Wittgenstein, suggests that problems are nothing but “puzzles of language” or a perception that we encase in the way we express it in language … furthering the suggestion that when we change our way of expressing our perceptions the problem dissolves as the language we use to express cannot sustain the problem as we experienced in the problem state.
Roye also said something else that guides what I call doing Private Work with clients,
“The problem as they express it contains the solution to the problem.”
This took me a few years to grasp completely, because it requires unpacking and deciphering the language of the client inside their perceptual experience, while simultaneously remaining outside of and beyond the perceptual framework of the client.
So taking these two things together, to go where the problem is NOT, an accepting that, the problem as they express it contains the solution to the problem, we can begin to build a framework to guide the client beyond the limits of the language that contains the problem that exists outside of their frame of consideration as they know it.
This new framework begins in nothing, as in no projecting of the past into the future in a way that limits it, and no fixed expectation about the future that defines how to perceive the present in terms of what to notice and what we perceive to be important to us, or containing opportunities that exist that we might choose to pursue instead of and beyond what we considered from where we’ve already been.
“The concept of “Blue Ocean” thinking can almost be defined by starting from nothing, meaning that we consider anything as possible, and then begin to organize ourselves in relation to what has to be true to achieve what we’ve imagined from a position of pure desire and positive expectation … Private Work exists to expose the boundaries of Blue Ocean thinking, and position us to operate in relation to, and within it.”
Maybe we can point to this distinction as the primary difference between coaching and Private Work, i.e.: giving up the desire to achieve the results and outcomes a client arrives with, and moving from that and the limitations suggested, to a position that exists beyond limitation. In this way before anything else happens the problems the client arrives with are swept away by releasing the desires and aspirations that contain them.
In Private Work we begin from a position of pure possibility, starting from a clean state where anything becomes possible. We begin by accessing a familiar position where the state of possibility has already been experienced and revivifying that experience fully, in body and mind, and when possible spirit as well. Then we stabilize the state of possibility, and only then begin to explore what, you as a client, want.
We employ the trick of revivifying the embodiment of possibility as a fully realized experience in the moment, here and now. Using this position we can then project to a point in the future where a deeply desired outcome has been realized, and explore what it will be like to have that as a fully embodied experience. The emphasis on the embodiment of experience sets Private Work apart from coaching, as it both contains and exists beyond language, where almost all coaching exists in relation to and within the limits of language.
In a Private Work session we establish the desired outcome position as an embodied realized experience, and then track the language that emerges from that position … versus trying to embody an outcome position by creating it in language. We call the embodiment I’m referring to as a “felt sense of self,” which by definition transcends language, from which language emerges. This distinction provides a critical point of difference in how many coaches work, and what most coaches seek to do, in a way that forces us to claim that Private Work and Coaching are in two different domains of consideration.
- COACHING seeks to get to something based on a pre-existing frame of reference, that always must include any limitations present in that frame of reference.
- PRIVATE WORK seeks to get to a position where we begin from nothing, without pre-determined or expected outcomes, so that a completely new way of perceiving possibility emerges, and from there establish the means to achieve whatever emerges as a desired outcome, including Blue Ocean possibilities.
A Little About The Mechanism:
Working in the paradigm of Private Work we begin from an essential presumption, you have a Best State, a way of operating so essential, innate and native to who you are, that when you are acting from this state virtually anything you do seems effortless for you.
We call what I refer to above as your Best State, your State of Perfection.
You embody your State of Perfection as an integrated wholeform position in body and mind, where what you perceive as internal experience matches what you express externally. You don’t experience any difference between the way you perceive the world, yourself or yourself in relation to it, and the way you respond and take action in the world, for you they are one and the same things.
This allows you to form a perfect loop between your perceptions and your actions, including eliminating any hesitation or procrastination between perception, decision making and action taking, and noticing the outcome you create as feedback you can use to refine your action taking, leading you ever closer to realizing your desired outcomes. When you perfect the loop between perception and action you experience uninhibited positive expectation, releasing you to act freely in relation to getting whatever outcome you’ve decided upon, and have projected as your future experience.
In this way positive expectation and your desired outcomes, i.e.: what you intend, determine how you perceive what’s present and what you notice for, becoming the drivers of your responses and behaviors. When you can collapse expectation and desire in this way, you can choose outcomes that are impossible from within the pre-existing frame of reference. You can invent possibilities that aren’t present in the pre-existing frame of reference, but you can nonetheless project as fully realized outcomes in a future position you intend to occupy. As you master this skill you can also begin to collapse the time frame within which you create the results and outcomes you’ve projected, drastically shortening the distance between where you begin and getting what you want.
We can simplify the way we express this as an algorithm we follow …
- RE-Discover Yourself – this refers to your State of Perfection
- RE-Connect With Yourself – this aligns you with your State of Perfection
- RE-Invent Yourself – this allows you project yourself through your State of Perfection into your future where you have already realized your intention
Where each step moves you in time and space in such a way that as you complete the algorithm from one stage to the next, you become more and more skillful and manipulating your sense of moving through time, until it becomes effortless to position yourself in time where you need to be to create any outcome you intend.
So, if you want to redefine and refine how you do what your doing it may be that coaching will be your best bet.
If you want to go beyond anything you’ve considered before, and create the possibility for things you’ve never considered, or believed possible before, then it may be that engaging with me in Private Work℠ Coaching will give you the breakthrough you actually desire, that goes beyond the way you currently create and contain the problems that limit you, permanently.
If this intrigues you, you can make arrangements to schedule a complimentary strategy call with me here … Private Work ℠ Coaching with Joseph (https://abti.learnworlds.com/mytho-magic)
Joseph Riggio, Ph.D.
P.S.: I’d love to read your thoughts after you’ve read through this one … I think it’s profound in it’s implications, and I’d love to know if you agree.