ABTI | Joseph Riggio International

The State of the Practice: ABTI | Joseph Riggio International

Entering A New Decade – 2020 Update

Howdy …

 

Here’s a little sandwich I’m building for those of you who have some interest in working with me professionally at some point, as well as those who have worked with me in the past or are working with me now.

NOTE: This meal is for anyone who’s been paying attention, and wants to kick ass, take names and get on with having YOUR life … 

First the bottom slice of bread, that the rest of our meal together today will be built up from …
(we’ll add condiments later on):

Okay let’s start with some self revelation … it’s my 6th decade here on Planet Earth, or Gaia as some folks prefer to think of her (yes, I think she’s a she because she is fertile and fecund).

That little tidbit ain’t so meaningful by itself, but very few little tidbits are meaningful outside of context, so let’s add some context.

This is all about where I’ve been (very little actually about that) and where I’m aiming (almost everything else here is about that) as a professional expert advisor, mentor, coach, consultant and trainer.

So now little juicy tidbits won’t be here about my personal life behind closed doors (sorry if you might have wanted or even expected that from me … maybe another time, with photos).

Of course all this is only meaningful to the extent that you care, and more to the point — in the way it may impact or effect you personally.

So I’m aiming this update at those folks who have worked with me before and who’s life/business I’ve impacted, those who are working with me now and are hoping for a positive impact and effect in the work we’re doing together, and also to those who may consider working with me in the future as well.

Now that we’ve covered the preamble and framing stuff let’s go to the meat of cheese of it all …

It’s significant that after living on her ample bosom I can happily report that Mother Earth has treated my particularly well, and I am both well satisfied and well positioned to continue with sojourn here for a while longer (Trans.- basically I’m in great health, good spirits and prepared to leap forward from the base of learning and experience I’ve accumulated in the past six decades).

For about three of my six decades I’ve been working at learning and applying stuff about the human condition to various and sundry aspects of creating an extraordinary life. Some folks say I’ve gotten pretty good at it too.

Here’s a short list of some of the sundry things I’ve put my attention on over the years:

  • Teaching NLP and communication skills
  • Learning and using Roye Fraser’s ‘Generative Imprint’ model working with folks and help them discover, access and sustain what it’s like for them to be at their best, and operate from there consistently
  • Working with individual clients and some small groups to provide personal interventions around issues like health and wellbeing, personal and professional relationships, career and business issues … doing what now today might be called coaching, but I still prefer the term I learned with Roye, “doing a piece of work”
  • Architecting and designing the MythoSelf Process model, originally called the Mythogenic Self Process, as an aesthetic model of embodied ontology using somasemantic interventions
  • Developing ways to integrate the NLP model and Roye’s model together building customized sales and leadership development training solutions for business/professional clients
  • Designing positively organized strategic solutions for my business/professional clients and assisting them to integrate and implement them
  • Training, certifying and licensing folks, who were interested and committed, to facilitate and train the MythoSelf Process, the model of work I’ve been at since 1990
  • Developing and delivering online training programs built around the MythoSelf Process model, and integrating that with other things, like business development and communication skills.
  • Training and mentoring coaches and consultants in building their business and deepening their skills
  • Working with high achieving individual clients on personal as well as professional issues like their relationships, business transitions, legacy …

So you can see I’ve been busy … and growing.

But, as I’ve noticed is so often the case, as people get older the circle closes, and they return to their roots. So it is for me.

My love is the MythoSelf Process work, and helping people to develop the fundamental life perspective it fosters … what is best called having a “possibility mindset” … seeing the world through a lens of opportunistic thinking and linking that to taking action.

Now this is a remarkably simplistic way of referring to what I do with people, but it gives us a place to begin and orient from as I go a little deeper.

What’s required to access and sustain a possibility mindset is a new perspective about life, and that perspective is that it’s always working, even when it may seem from a particular place and stance that it is not.

A simple example of having a possibility mindset is the idea that all endings are also new beginnings.

It’s also about recognizing the possibilities or opportunities that abound in the present moment.

So, in part it’s also about developing a specific kind of intuition to notice for what is present but unseen, including the emergent future possibilities — something I refer to as adumbration, or the art of foreseeing the immediate future that’s unfolding in this moment.

I can go on, but the work is complex, deep and profound in so many ways, all of which enhance and create a robust richness in living one’s life, both on own’s own and with others (now you can see why I so love doing this work).

What this means is that I’ll be rolling up a lot of what I’ve done and have been doing, some of it that I’ll only be doing in the future with partners I have built significant relationships with who are peers and colleagues in delivering what I think of as some of the best training, consulting and coaching programs on the planet, but other than that it will disappear from my personal portfolio of work.

The work that will happen only in conjunction with my partners will be everything I’ve done before (as well as stuff I haven’t) that doesn’t specifically fit into what’s below.

I guess the question then becomes — what will I be focused on moving forward …

Simple …

  • One to one, and small group work, with high achieving individuals (and those who are truly aspiring to be high achieving themselves) … i.e.: doing a piece of work

    This is all about personal and professional interventions to develop the kind of intuitions that make living one’s life on one’s own terms effortless, Getting Unstuck, Breaking Through and Creating Results to put it another way — this is all about resolving the ways in which you get in your own way, and freeing yourself to see the world in ways you haven’t before or yet, to open you to the vast range of possibilities to have your life work as you wish and desire … on your own and with others, personally and professionally

  • A major shift to delivering Relationship Coaching and Training as a central theme of what’s coming — for folks who’ve been there and done that, and who are ready to build a relationship that fulfills them completely — what’s intended to be the “Last Chapter” … where you get to live “happily ever after …”

    I’ve been around long enough to know that we are embedded in our relationships, especially those that involve those we love — this work is about resolving what gets in the way of having the kind of relationship that happens in RomComs, Hallmark channel programming and romance novels (especially those with the steamy bedroom and beach scenes) — I’ve been aiming at this work actually for years, and I’ve done a lot of it, and now it will become a major focus on where I’m placing my time and attention on live programs going forward … if you’re on board, get ready for the ride of your life, because that’s the only one you’ll know after you’ve experienced what’s in store for you here

  • Running and delivering MythoSelf Process Training and Certification Programs internationally

    I’ll be running a limited number of MythoSelf Process programs for individuals internationally throughout the upcoming year with folks certified by me to deliver them, and turning over this part of the MythoSelf Process training to them more and more over the next two years (so if you’ve ever wanted to attend a MSE | MythoSelf Experience with me do it this year) … this is at the heart of the work I love, and part of what this means is that I’ll be focused on running and delivering certification programs, and for those who are interested and skilled offering licensing to run MythoSelf training themselves.

  • Working with Coaches, Consultants and Expert Advisors as a mentor and advisor to them

    I’ve been around a long time now and I have something to share with those folks who are interested in what I’ve gathered about this work — this is highly specialized work … and I intend for it to be very intensive and intimate work as well … for a very target group of folks, but where it’s a fit there’s a lot we’ll be doing together — business building, skills development, client insights …

And, that’s all folks!

Now you have the meat and the cheese (the work I’ll be doing with others, as well as a ton of what I intend to give away for free … a new podcast (or two), live video feeds, my ongoing writing (in some new places too) … we can call the condiments, okay?).

If you want the short summary … it’s all gonna be MythoSelf … MythoSelf all the way through and through (the exception being some of the work I do with my partners) … no matter how it’s dressed up, and all the other stuff falling away like a snake shedding it’s skin and revealing itself anew.

So to place the other slice of bread …

(the one that closes a proper sandwich, so you can pick it up and eat it with your hands, not that finicky, prissy shit of using a fork and knife, cutting away little bits to place in your dainty little mouth … my stuff is intended to take big old bites out of … this is stuff that will nourish your soul, as well as improve your life):

Look for some major changes in what I’m putting out in 2020 and beyond, as well as where you’ll find it … and some of the changes will be significant too.

I’m going to hand off or shut down a number of my FB groups, to focus much more on consolidating what I’m saying and to whom.

I’ll have some new places and ways of sharing what I’ve consolidated as parts of a singular message (can you guess what that is … ding, ding, ding right on! … all MythoSelf Process based stuff … stories, applications, examples … all of it).

I’ll be sending out a few emails shortly to invite anyone who’s interested to a few new things I’m setting up, so keep your eyes peeled (and if you’re currently in a program with me, watch especially carefully as we update everything there too … especially for you folks).

Thanks for listening 😉

Joseph Riggio, Ph.D.

Architect and Designer of the MythoSelf Process and SomaSemantics
December 29, 2019 (the end of an era)

PS – If you’re excited by any of this and want to discuss what’s coming up and how you might work with me, join a program or find out more before we come out with our major release of the new era information you can schedule a call with me here: Talk with Joseph

 

Revisiting: Pathways to A High-Ticket Coaching Or Consulting Practice

Or … The Gravesian Way To Making A Great Living As A Coach/Consultant/Trainer …

Graves Business Model Venn Diagram JSR

 

Okay … the idea of the Venn Diagram showing this particular intersection isn’t mine, but the commentary around it is …

Let’s take a closer look together … shall we?

 

[NOTE: I originally wrote this as a post on my blog where I’ve been talking the Graves Model for years. This model identifies what most drives perceptual, decision-making and behavioral responses that people default to generally, all other things being equal. The fundamental point here is that unconscious values drive responses. When you can recognize how your values shape your responses, and the way values shape the responses that others make, you can make choices that serve you more powerfully in your business. It’s not so important to try to master the Graves Model, as to get the underlying values that form business decisions that shape a business’ outcomes.]

Most of the build your coaching business gurus will point you towards what I’m calling out as the Reflective Thinking/Graves Six position where you supposedly make money by pursuing your passion … e.g.: your Million Dollar Message B.S.

BUT … while you can indeed make money by overlapping What You’re Passionate About resides and where What Your Clients Want and Are Willing To Pay Handsomely To Get overlap … there ain’t no guarantee that’s gonna happen …

BECAUSE there’s no guarantee that what you’re passionate about … or your message, life story, insights, calling, whatever … is going to resonate with what customers and clients are willing to pay handsomely for today.

Now if you notice most of these “Gurus” are following the path that most of the  on-line business/marketing gurus will point you toward (and mostly follow themselves) … i.e.: the place where What You’re Good At and What Clients Want and Will Pay Handsomely For overlap. This is the Reactive Thinking/Graves Five position on the diagram, and you can indeed make loads of money when you follow this path to riches.

In other words, the Reflective Thinking/Graves Six Do What You Love Gurus seldom follow their own advice precisely, except when there’s a lucky accident and they are actually at the Integrative Thinking/Graves Seven position (think Oprah Winfrey).

I point to this position in the middle of the diagram where all three circles overlap … (BTW this is where the money you can earn is for all intents and purposes unlimited), so it all comes together for them.

Just to complete the outer positions, 90% of folks who have businesses that are actually jobs are stuck in the Reflexive Thinking/Graves Four position, where What You’re Good At and What You’re Passionate About overlap. (NOTE: This is Michael Gerber of “The E-Myth” fame refers to as the technician’s ‘entrepreneurial spasm’.)

OKAY, SO HERE’S THE “SKINNY” AS I LIKE TO SAY …

YOU HAVE TO DECIDE EXACTLY “WHY” YOU WANT TO RUN A COACHING/CONSULTING/TRAINING BUSINESS!!!

(Or, what you get from your coaching/consulting/training business will not necessarily be what you want or expect to get from it.)

What To Do About It …

(If You Really Want To Build A High-Ticket Practice)

A great majority of folks who are good at what they do, but ain’t making no money, are operating at a Reflexive Thinking/Graves Four position on this diagram. It’s simple and kind of stupid (I’ll explain why later on, give me a minute to get there …)

Most folks who are willing to do what it takes, are at a Reactive Thinking/Graves Five position on the diagram, and are building businesses that make money, sometimes tons of moolah, but they aren’t necessarily that happiest folks on the planet (in fact they are often the most anxious folks on the planet, always waiting for the house of cards they built to implode).

When you leap to the Reflective Thinking/Graves Six position you find that there’s a whole spectrum of success, from what is utter financial failure to super financial success and independent wealth. Yet, these folks are living in a dream expecting to live the dream, i.e.: doing well by doing good, regardless of the fact the reality is that most of the time they are more interested in what they want to do for themselves than helping out the world as a form of service or sacrifice.

Now that ain’t saying that folks who are operating out of the Reflective Thinking/Graves Six value set aren’t doing good work, it’s just that the reality is that most of the time that decision is based on what NLPers (folks trained in NLP/neurolinguistic programming) call Sorting By Self and Internal Reference. In other words they decide what’s most right by their own internal measure and not necessarily what would in fact most serve the world-at-large.

For example a whole lot of these folks drive expensive SUVs and many drive expensive sports cars, that ain’t doing a whole lot for the planet they claim to love, or being particularly respectful of the percentage of resources they use compared to the least privileged folks on the planet. And those in the coaching/consulting industry don’t stay local/buy local/work local either, because they are getting on planes to go to the conventions where their tribe meets up and when they’re not flying to meet their tribe they’re looking to hook up with some tribe in Fiji or Patagonia or the Himalayas on holiday.

Once again, I’m NOT condemning these folks … good on the if they’ve found a way to satisfy their deepest desires and making the dosh they need to pursue them fully. BUT, as I said this is as much a lucky coincidence as it is strategic planning, and even then this is NOT the path to sainthood regardless of how many Salutations to the Sun you’ve done, or how many hours you’ve spent meditating mindfully, or even if you’ve spent two years of your youth in the Peace Corps.

The main point for anyone who’s trying to build a high-ticket practice is to get that if you want to be on the path to success that is strategic, then you’ve really got to look at why you want this and how you expect to pull it off in the real world where no one cares about your intention …

That’s right … NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR INTENTION!

ALL FOLKS CARE ABOUT ARE WHAT THEY WANT AND,
HOW YOUR ACTIONS HELP THEM GET THAT … OR NOT!

(NOTE: There is an exception to this as well … when folks believe and expect that you will help them get what they want, even when that doesn’t turn out to be true after the fact.)

So think about it … WHY DO YOU WANT TO BUILD A HIGH-TICKET COACHING, CONSULTING OR TRAINING PRACTICE???

In other words answer these two question for yourself:

1. What do you expect to get from building a high-ticket coaching, consulting or training practice?

2. How will getting this satisfy your deeper desires and values beyond just making money (unless your at Reactive Thinking/Graves Five, just making money is not going to keep you happy).

Now going back a step …

If you both want to make money AND satisfy your deeper desires and values you’ll need to come to terms with a couple of things …

FIRST … you MUST satisfy the intention to serve your clients based on “What Your Clients Want and Will Pay You Handsomely For” … if you’re NOT starting here you are NOT operating strategically with regard to building a High-Ticket Practice.

AND … you MUST satisfy the intention to serve “What You’re Passionate About” as well.

Now, that may sound like I just recommended that you follow the Graves Six pathway to success, and that’s ALMOST correct, but as they say in the infomercial world … “WAIT THERE’S MORE!”

REMEMBER … there’s absolutely no guarantee that “What You’re Passionate About” and “What Your Client’s Want and Will Pay You Handsomely For” are aligned or will come together … if those two things aren’t also “What You’re Good At” too.

Because typically High-Ticket Clients almost always go to someone who is an expert, who does the best quality work, for what they want and expect to pay handsomely for as well. In other words, they seek out folks who are good at what they do as their primary criteria (even when they get it wrong because someone has created a reputation built on sand … probably a savvy Six BTW).

 

For BOTH YOU AND YOUR CLIENTS to be deeply satisfied you need to be in the Reactive Thinking/Graves Five zone for them … AND the Reflective Thinking/Graves Six zone for you!

And, in the world of this model Reactive Thinking/Graves Five and Reflective Thinking/Graves Six together equal Integrative Thinking/Graves Seven when it comes to building a High-Ticket Coaching, Consulting or Training Practice that satisfies BOTH YOU AND YOUR CLIENTS!

 

Summing It Up

Simply put, STOP PAYING ATTENTION TO THE MAGICAL THINKING WORLD OF THE GET RICH QUICK BY DOING WHAT YOU LOVE Gurus!!!

While there’s nothing wrong with doing what you love … HECK I RECOMMEND IT … you aren’t going to have the chance to work with the High-Ticket clients you want, or to strategically satisfy your desire to make more money … or get filthy, stinking rich for that matter … if you don’t move out of the position you’re in to a position where you really do satisfy all the people in the equation BASED ON THEIR CRITERIA AND NOT YOURS ALONE.

As the wise men say, there are many paths to the top of mountain, but whether you get up there broken and defeated barely having survived, happily trekking with a merry band of sherpas and stopping for a week in basecamp before you turn around and head down never having seen the peak, or travel all the way in a luxury helicopter is up to you.

If you want to you can indeed have it, and knowing WHO you are, is at least as important as WHAT to do and HOW to do it … this is the world of Integrative Thinking/Graves Seven autonomy and success … and, here’s a little secret, when you are operating from WHO you are, you begin to gain unprecedented insight into WHO your clients are as well.

So if your guru isn’t starting there with you, i.e.: WHO you are, as the basis for designing the offers you build your HIGH TICKET Coaching/Consulting/Training business around, then at least remember this wise saying … CAVEAT EMPTOR (i.e.: buyer beware).

Joseph Riggio, Ph.D.
Architect & Designer of the MythoSelf Process, Soma-Semantics and Generative Flow

P.S. – Leave a comment and let me know what you think  … if you’d like to get a little more clarity on your current identity and values in regard to your business, I can talk and walk you through where you are on the diagram today and help you make the move to the center of yourself in about 15 minutes . If you’d like to pursue it you can schedule a call here …

Schedule Your Short Complimentary 15 Minute Call with Me Here

Seeing Wholeness

The Key To Transformational Embodiment 

About 30 years ago I began searching for the universal ”skeleton key” to transformational change.

By the mid-1990s I had come to the conclusion that the ”key” to transformational change was part of what I began calling the somatic ground of being … embodiment … the foundation of ontological experience and awareness. This led to an approach using somatic interventions to instigate ontological transformation.

I remember sitting in the “Hypnotorium” with Roye at the front doing something with someone, a piece of profound transformational hypnosis.

This is very different from what many think of as hypnosis, i.e.: “You are getting sleepy … your eyes are getting heavy, tired, and they want to close … just let them close, NOW … going deeper into a deep, deep sense of relaxation … let yourself float down, even deeper, still …” and then some suggestions about stopping smoking or losing weight, or some other habit interruption and reframing.

It’s also obviously very different from stage hypnosis, (same script followed by), ”Now you will follow my suggestions … when I snap my fingers you will open your eyes, and when I mention the word “hypnosis” you will cluck like a chicken …” No, not anything like that at all.

Transformational hypnosis was … is … the art of shifting the ontological awareness you operate from about reality, what is real and how it is organized, and most importantly your place in relation to it.

Within the art of transformational hypnosis there is an intention not to change symptoms or behavior at the surface, but the structure of your perception at a deep and essential level, all the way down to the core of your sense of identity.

Now the way I was learning about how Roye worked was presented in what he referred to as “wholeform” … never truly broken down into steps to follow, but instead presented as a complete piece of work.

Someone would come in and present a life issue they were facing and within … a significant choice in a relationship maybe, or the need and desire to make a major change in their profession or lifestyle, it might be they were dealing with a major loss and were struggling with processing it fully, and as often it would have been someone who was simply stuck and yearning for a breakthrough to an imagined future that infuriatingly continued to elude them.

Roye would refer to whatever it was that the person presented as the ”presenting problem” and point out that it was simply the lens to a solution. The trick of course was to be able to elicit and discern the solution that had been obfuscated by the presenting problem and remained unavailable to the one presenting it.

So I would come, a couple or a few times a month, or even weekly, to sit in the Hypnotorium with Roye to learn the secrets of the deep art of transformational hypnosis. I have to admit that for months the entirety of it eluded me and all I could gather from what he was doing at the front of the room was bits and pieces of technique.

Maybe I would pick up a way of leading someone into an altered state with some bit of language. Or, I’d notice that Roye would alter his posture to be more like the person he was working with, and yet with all these bits and pieces I was gathering my skill remained mostly limited to working at best at the surface of things.

Then it happened …

I think maybe I was tired, or frustrated, but I’d given up trying to “get it” and I just sat there as Roye was doing a piece of work with someone and I saw the whole thing!

This wasn’t the process he was using, or what he was doing, it was what he was noticing about the person in front of him. They are the whole thing!

This is where the magic happens. I got that absolutely in that instant, as fleeting as it was and as difficult to recapture. By trying to “get it” … looking and listening for what it was, I remained unable to get the “whole thing” … the entirety of what happens moment to moment as you are with someone.

The “whole thing” is the entirety of how someone is organized in any given moment AND how they change moment to moment in an endlessly choreographed dance of dynamic movement.

This way of seeing became the essence of the work I do and teach in MythoSelf Process and Soma-Semantics models.

I proposed we have a fundamental, ontological state of being that is innate to us, because of the deep integration between the somatic and semantic structure of wholeform experience that treats the body-mind as an integrated singularity. This state of being always emerges in wholeform as a singularity all at once.

The wholeform ontological structure contains the entirety of the way we are within our bodies, how we use them, move within them and move through them, and the language forms that arise to inform us and others via the descriptions of the subjective experience we are having as we do.

One of the primary teaching distinctions of the MythoSelf Process and Soma-Semantics is the art of Seeing Wholeness.

Yet Seeing Wholeness remains elusive, as it did for me for months of my early training with Roye, only becoming apparent in that first instance as a wholeform experience of undifferentiated wholeness that was the true essence of the person I saw for the first time that day.

 

Seeing The Wholeform Of Wholeness:

To see wholeness you cannot be looking for the pieces or the parts, as wholeness only exists in the wholeform.

This is what makes it so hard for folks to learn … the letting go of trying to see what they cannot yet discern for themselves.

For most people to learn to see wholeness you must allow yourself to see it through the eyes of someone who can already see it, and see what they are seeing, not what you are looking for yourself.

This of course is a kind of trick you must learn for yourself, i.e.: to see through the eyes of another.

What you’re noticing for is the entirety of whatever you are present to, not the parts of the entirety. Of course the entirety includes you, since you are present as well.

Wholeness always includes whatever happens between you and what you are noticing, and it is there that the magic of the wholeform experience becomes most present … in the space between.

To put this another way, I always feel the wholeform experience before I can see it, but once I can feel it I can’t help but to see it as well.

What we call adumbration in the MythoSelf Process and Soma-Semantics training forms the basis for seeing wholeness … the ability to foresee what is emerging as it emerges, or even a microsecond or so before it is apparent in any ordinary sense of being able to see it.

As crazy making as this seems to see wholeness you must allow yourself to feel it coming before it’s there within yourself. Then you must allow yourself to stop looking for anything and just notice for everything, because when you are tracking for wholeness everything changes all at once.

When you are noticing for wholeness you do not only notice that someone has moved an arm or a leg, or that they smiled or frowned, or that their voice changed in someway such as increasing or decreasing in volume or pitch. You notice for the way they are now entirely different AND they moved an arm or a leg, or that they smiled or frowned, or that their voice changed in someway such as increasing or decreasing in volume or pitch.

By getting caught by the arm or a leg moving, or that they smiled or frowned, or that their voice changed in someway such as increasing or decreasing in volume or pitch, you lose the sense of the wholeform, and you lose any ability to see wholeness.

Wholeness flows.

Wholeness doesn’t exist in any moment and it does in every moment. It is the ability to see the grand pattern of change and transformation, and to notice for how that pattern organizes itself in alignment with some future, teleological wholeform possibility.

Using the information that is present by tracking the Soma-Semantic (whole)form you can then assist whomever you are working with to align themselves with that wholeform possibility as the possibility of choice. This then becomes the trajectory along which they propel themselves into their chosen future.

NOTE FOR MYTHOSELF PROCESS FACILITATORS AND TRAINERS:

When you can do this you are doing the MythoSelf Process, and only when you are doing this, doing anything else is something, but not the MythoSelf Process.

Merry Christmas 2018!

Joseph Riggio, Ph.D., Parsippany, NJ
Architect & Designer of the MythoSelf Process,a SomaSemantics and Generative Flow

Profane Coaching:101

pro·fane – prəˈfān, verb: grossly irreverent toward what is held to be sacred.

Coaching often tries to present itself in one of two ways by many of the major practitioners of the craft …

  1. Socratic – very mild, gentle and nurturing, as the ultimate helping intervention that never interferes with the personal process of the individual being coached by adding anything or offering anything to them that they haven’t presented first themselves.
  2. Serious – very precise, impactful and professional, as a way to awaken and access higher levels of performance and especially interpersonal performance for executives, entrepreneurs, professionals and anyone seeking to lead others in any way.

Okay, let’s agree … those are two ways to consider coaching, and perfectly valid ones at that. Let’s also agree that it wouldn’t be too hard to find training or mentoring as a coach following one of those two paths either.

Now let’s set both of those ways of presenting coaching aside completely and look at the whole thing from another perspective entirely …

For three decades I’ve been developing an approach to working with clients that almost completely disregards the conventional thinking about coaching, and how it’s to be done with clients.

For instance here’s some of what I don’t often do …

  • Let my clients tell me about their problems/issues/challenges, I don’t need or want to know what’s wrong as the place we begin working together
  • Listen to them tell their story for too long, since it’s not the story they want to be living anyway
  • Keep my observations, opinions, and experience to myself, instead I apply all three liberally
  • Ask a lot of useless questions to establish rapport, just to allow my clients to feel they’ve been heard
  • Speak with deference and delicateness to protect my client’s sensitivity, or their shame, guilt or otherwise protected emotions
  • Treat my clients as equals in the coaching process, after all they come to me because I’m an expert not an equal
  • Mollycoddle clients or parse language, because it might offend or upset them to hear the truth
  • Try to remain professional at all times, meaning never showing emotion or revealing myself to them

That’s the short list.

It’s what makes my approach to coaching a bit “profane” so to speak (the other thing is the way I freely and joyfully use “colorful” language that may be more common coming from a stevedore than a coach or consultant – I have family in the stevedore business, so you can believe me, their language is remarkably colorful).

Here’s the bottomline right up front … my approach to coaching is a bit different, it starts out differently, it happens different, and it usually ends different too … with my clients wondering why they hell they came to see me in the first place (not because they didn’t get what they came for, but because they can’t remember what interfered with having it in the first place, or not having its all along).

My approach begins here …

WHADDA YA WANT?

It’s the simplest question in the world and one that ain’t always easy to answer.

It’s also the question you’ll get from any waitress in any NJ diner as she places a cup of strong, hot coffee down in front of you too.

The difference between me and your waitress is that she expects you to know what you want when she asks the question. If you don’t you’ll get an eye roll, and the next thing you’ll hear is, “You want me to give you a little more time honey?” as she walks away not to be seen again for the next thirty minutes (next time you’ll be ready with your order when she puts the coffee down, right?). She’s also more patient and kind than I am too.

I start already knowing that you don’t know what you want … even if you think you do. At least that’s true like 98.725 percent of the time (I just made that number up of course, but it’s probably remarkably accurate).

BUT … I also know that in answering the question, “WHADDA YA WANT?” that you have to access what it is you really want from getting what you think you want (that’s the truly secret sauce in the mix, and why I don’t listen too much to what clients have to say to me when I’m working with them).

Hey, I’m not trying to train you to be a Profane Coach here, I’m just laying out the structure a bit, so if you’re a little confused by that statement it’s okay, maybe someday we’ll meet up and it will make a lot more sense to you then.

What I’m actually paying attention to is how you are when you are answering the question.

How you are is what it’s all about!

What I mean by that is that there’s something we all access when we think about what we want, it’s the way we expect to be when we have it. This way of being is essential as well to what it take to get it, but it’s simply not available in the way of being that’s associated with longing for something that isn’t present.

You can only access what you really want when you aren’t longing to have it and thinking about how it’s missing.

Once again, this is that secret sauce I was mentioning, and to tell you the truth, most people need a little kick in the pants to let go of what holds them back from getting it.

That’s also in part what makes my approach to do the work we’d be aiming at together “profane” in the first place, I take off the kid gloves. We’ll be digging into places that are likely to be uncomfortable, but nonetheless essential to get to so we can get past whatever limits you today from having what you really want.

Let’s just put our cards on the table … what makes more way of working with clients profane is that I’m going to be intentionally provocative about pushing the buttons that normally unsettle the clients I’m working with to get to what’s beneath whatever they find unsettling.

It’s a really fascinating thing to create a context that’s simultaneously both unsettling and safe … another profane idea … that it’s possible to be both intentionally unsettling, provocative and disturbing in a coaching setting, and create a space that’s undeniably safe to explore the themes we’ll be discussing within.

What’s so powerful here is that the “secret sauce” reveals the underlying code that you use to access yourself at your best, when you are beyond being plagued by any limitations that prevent you from achieving what you intend and deeply desire.

The “Profane” Somatic Code

This “code” is somatically organized, held in the way you use your body at the micro-muscular level, literally the way your body prepares to respond before it even does.

Many somatic approaches address the idea that they way you use your body profoundly influences how you think, how you respond and what you do. Most of these somatic approaches look at the more gross movements and postural adjustments that we make and how these are affecting us in other ways beyond the question of the movements themslves.

At the core of the “profane” approach I use is going to movements that are so small that they are almost imperceptible … almost. Truth be told, these micro-muscular movements are in fact imperceptible from the outside, but they can be reverse engineered by the movements that emerge from them.

Once you know how the human body works you can figure out what has to happen for whatever you’re experiencing, or observing, at the level of micro-muscular pre-movements to happen. For arguments sake we could be pointing to individual muscle fiber twitches.

There’s another presumption in approaching coaching profanely, that the semantic structure, i.e.: the structure of meaning we create from what we perceive and the sense-making that arises from it, arise from the somatic ground of how we are within ourselves … literally the way we are in our bodies.

This is a profane concept to all those folks who hold the mental processes above or superior to body-based processes. Yet, within the consideration of the profane approach I’m outlining here what arises first in the body is considered at least equal to, and often superior to, what we become aware in mind … and, always ahead of the language we use to describe it.

This is a really big deal …

By being “profane” with you, you’ll get to what you won’t on your own, because you’d avoid it otherwise … either intentionally or unintentionally … but, with the right kind of provocation, the right kind of push, you’ll go where you normally won’t on your own.

This way of coaching isn’t for everyone … either coaches or clients, but it may be something you’d want to explore as a coach to add into your snatchel of tricks, or as a client to get past whatever it’s been that you keep bumping up against and ordinary “pedestrian” respectful approaches can’t bypass.

I’d love to hear from you with you’re thoughts about being “profane” as someone who works with clients … or, as someone who’d consider working with a “profane” coach.

All the best,

Joseph Riggio, Ph.D.
Architect & Designer of the MythoSelf Process, SomaSemantics and Generative Flow

Thinking Small

“I bury the bone so deep that the dogs have to scratch for it.”*

I admit it, I’ve always had a hard time thinking small. Some folks are great at it though. They use small words and a just a few of them to express magnificent and expansive ideas. Not me.

I tend to be wordy. My sentences run on … and, sometimes on. And, if there’s not a big word to express what I’m thinking and trying to say, I just make one up on the fly. I’m like that. I think that “free speech” means what it says, and I should be free to speak even that which hasn’t existed before I spake it.

In fact that’s the heart of the matter. As fish swim in water, we, i.e.: humans, homo sapiens sapiens, swim in language. Words. And, more words. Life is filled with wordiness for humans.

All that so far is okay. It’s okay to think small. It’s okay to be wordy. It’s okay that humans swim in language.

It’s the “belief” thing that gets us every time though. The idea that the words we read, and the words we hear, and the words we write, and the words we speak are “true” … or, represent what’s “real” … when in fact words are words and nothing more.

The words aren’t the thing they point to at all. The word “love” isn’t “love” any more than it’s a fish. But, that doesn’t mean that words aren’t powerful, they are indeed. Words bring worlds into being.

G. Spencer Brown, in his book, ”Laws of Form” speaks of universes coming into being when “… a space is severed or taken apart.”

The theme of this book is that a universe comes into being when a space is severed or taken apart. The skin of a living organism cuts off an outside from an inside. So does the circumference of a circle in a plane. By tracing the way we represent such a severance, we can begin to reconstruct, with an accuracy and coverage that appear almost uncanny, the basic forms underlying linguistic, mathematical, physical, and biological science, and can begin to see how the familiar laws of our own experience follow inexorably from the original act of severance. The act is itself already remembered, even if unconsciously, as our first attempt to distinguish different things in a world where, in the first place, the boundaries can be drawn anywhere we please. (page v)

Now, imagine if you will, that language severs the wholeform of reality by imagining it’s “parts” as independent and distinguishable by virtue of the idea that they can be labeled, i.e.: named, bringing into being a new universe each time a new word, specifically a noun, is uttered or written, contained within the universe that remains unnamed and residing next to all the universes that have been named, including all those things named, and labeled by the names given them, which don’t exist.

Which brings us to the point of my rambling.

For many years I’ve striven to present what I do as simply and naively as possible. Alas, as I’ve said though, I am not a man of small thinking, or for that matter small words.

I believe my fault lies in thinking in wholeform, i.e.: I have trouble perceiving the boundaries that sever spaces into separate universes. This leads to expansiveness in all ways, including the wordiness of which I am at fault. For what it’s worth I think the British polymath I’ve quoted above, G. Spencer Brown got this idea stuck in his head (or at least his writing) too, despite his writing about the opposite.

”In this sense, in respect to its own information, the universe must expand to escape the telescopes through which we, who are it, are trying to capture it, which is us.” – G. Spencer Brown, Laws of Form

Stay just a little bit longer

(Musical Interlude)

Oh, won’t you stay just a little bit longer

Please, please, please, say you will

Say you will

(Jackson Browne – “The Load Out – Stay” from the album Running on Empty)

Okay, back to the main point or as Professor Rodríguez from my first doctoral program was found of saying, “Keep the main thing, the main thing!”

As simply put as I can put it, what I do is lead people back to a wholeform consideration of the universe to help them get their heads right.

Literally for years I’ve been trying to simplify what I do, in terms of form, i.e.: how I do what I do … or the pragmatics of it. This led me down many paths and alleys.

As a result of this journeying I’ve developed many programs, and mini-programs, and models, and techniques … all in the service of this one thing, looking for the holy grail of transformational change, the philosopher’s stone or alchemist’s prima materia of the Change Artist.

(AUTHOR’S NOTE: For what it’s worth I think I may have stumbled upon it, but as Lao-Tau says in the Tao Te Ching,

Tao (The Way) that can be spoken of is not the Constant Tao’ The name that can be named is not a Constant Name.

Nameless, is the origin of Heaven and Earth;

The named is the Mother of all things.

Thus, the constant void enables one to observe the true essence. The constant being enables one to see the outward manifestations.

These two come paired from the same origin. But when the essence is manifested, It has a different name.

This same origin is called “The Profound Mystery.”

As profound the mystery as It can be, It is the Gate to the essence of all life.

http://www.with.org/tao_te_ching_en.pdf)

However, as a result, I’ve become as the ouroboros, swallowing whole the circle of infinity, and realizing in the process neither an end or a beginning. And, so I come back to the start of all things.

The beginning and the end are the wholeform, from which all separate universes are cleaved, but despite the severing remain whole nonetheless.

This was always the essence of the MythoSelf Process model and work.

BUT … to do this, as the sacred work I perceive it to be, i.e. leading a person back to themselves uncorrupted and complete, requires losing all other intentions or distortions along the way.

There can be no intention beyond arriving at the wholeform, having removed all the distinctions that create separate universes, and in turn separating ourselves from ourself.

So, “mea culpa, mea culpa, mea máxima culpa” I got both distracted and became disingenuous about the nature of the work at hand.

The MythoSelf Process work was never “about” something other than itself, i.e.: encountering the wholeform that is the *all and everything.

So my apologies for any suggesting otherwise. In other words that I may have misled you to think this was “about” something, e.g.: being happy, or getting wealthy, or having great relationships, or any other damn thing beyond the main thing, which of course is everything.

But, for whatever it’s worth, I’m back at the core of the work, but with a vengeance, having spent far to much time searching in vain for what it was not.

I guess I said it long ago, but had not the ears to hear myself …

“This is NOT that!”

With a few folks who have stuck around and become trainers and master trainers of the work, as well as some folks who are otherwise masterful in their own ways within the scope of the work, I will be offering both “MythoSelf Experience” 3-day programs and a full year-long MythoSelf Professional Training presented over three four-day modules in a few places in the upcoming months.

If you’d like to get on my list about these opportunities either drop me a note in the comments below, send me an email at joseph-AT-josephriggio.com, or PM me on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/josephriggio) if you prefer.

I’d love to read your comments about where you are with my unfortunate wordiness below …

Best,

Joseph Riggio, Ph.D.
Architect & Designer of the MythoSelf Process and SomaSemantics

P.S. – In the meantime if you’d like to experience the MythoSelf work with me directly in a small group setting I’m offering a “Foolish Wisdom” workshop this month in Lambertville, NJ, you can find the information here:

Foolish Wisdom in Lambertville, NJ – MARCH 2018

 

 

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